Gone After November

Forgive us, dear reader(s), it’s been more than 2 years since our last post. HOLY CRAP THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT?!?! Wow. Yeeeesh, you guys. Yeeeeeeeeesh. Ok, now that that’s out of the way.

How perfect is it that as I sat down to write this post, Gone Till November by Wyclef came on. It seems so appropriate. Except it’s more like Gone After November. Sigh.

So, dear reader(s), I (I being A) am back to Twi-blog one last time before we lay our favorite film saga to rest. Sure, like an undead vamp, Twilight will live on via DVD, Blue-Ray, Kindels, iPads, Nooks…wow. Technology, am I right? Point being, today is the last time (presumably) that I can say “I’m going to see the new Twilight movie!” That sucks. It suuuuuuuuuucks. Remember when you read Breaking Dawn and you cried hysterically when you got to that last page. You know, the one with the words “The End” poignantly printed in bold, final black ink? That’s kind of how this feels. But symbolically.

It’s weird. After making Twilight my Twi-life for so long, it hasn’t hit me yet that this is the end. Granted, I haven’t been as active in the last couple years. (Obvs.) I got a full-time job writing and doing PR for a company which I won’t mention. But I will say that KStew is wearing our products in at least one of these pics. Possibly both.

Just because I haven’t been blogging doesn’t mean I haven’t been fan-girling. I still have all my posters lovingly hung around my apartment. (This could explain my single status.) I’ve adamantly defended the reconciliation of Robsten. (Don’t tell me he shouldn’t take her back or that it’s a publicity stunt. THEY ARE IN LOVE. DAMMIT. IN. LOVE.)

Anyhoozles, back to the point at hand. Today I will see Breaking Dawn Part 2. At 4pm. EST. Today will be my final “new Twilight movie”…until ABC Family inevitably makes a rom-com about Nessie and her new super-cute now-the-same-age-as-her-kinda-sorta-so-it’s-OK-by-Disney-standards boyfriend Jake (played by someone from the supporting cast of Camp Rock 7: The Jonas Brothers Aren’t in This One). Oh, and I think we all know in 5 years the CW will launch a new series called, like, “Forks”…the story of a town where something’s not quite right with that attractive Cullen family, the new girl in town is mysterious, clumsy and intriguing and it rains all the time. But they’ll throw in some new twist like Edward is also fresh out of juvie because he hit a homeless guy with his Volvo while hopped up on enough bath salts to think he’s invincible. But it wasn’t bath salts and he didn’t just think he’s invincible. He is. Because he’s a vampire. And that hobo was going to hurt an innocent elderly woman. Or something. Details are still being hammered out. But this might actually work…so it’s TM. Got that? TM. Legally binding. Dibbsies.

I have mixed feelings about today’s screening. First off, the second half of Breaking Dawn (excluding vampire sex) is like my least favorite thing. So many vampires. So many battle scenes. Weird stuff happens. And I’m not gonna lie, I still don’t quite understand a couple plot points (that hybrid kid from the Amazon…still foggy on the details of his age and maturation status). Plus, as I’ve mentioned THIS IS THE END, FOLKS. So while I’m excited for two hours with my favorite un-dead couple (spoiler?), I’m not looking forward to hours of what US Magazine called “jaw-droppingly violent” battle scenes and the forced farewell that will roll with credits. And this surprise ending that’s kept me off the Internet and Twitter since Thursday? I’m nervous, guys. Nervous. What are they gonna do?? Kill Bella? Kill Edward? Kill Jake?? Originally, I thought it would be some cute retrospective of scenes from the previous movies. Like Bella’s human memories flood back set to a Christina Perri song and we all cry and grin and hug strangers because we lived through all of this together. (I actually got goosebumps writing that…nerd alert.)

But now I think it’s going to be some kind of crazy plot twist that changes everything and makes me leave sad or angry or confused. More confused than I am about that Amazon kid’s age and maturation status. Seriously…anyone else have a hard time with that one?!?

The wondering is killing me, but the wait isn’t. To paraphrase the great Paula Cole, I WANNA wait. I don’t want this to be over. As weird as it may sound to non-Twi-hards, this is the end of an era.

So, until we meet again…or until Steph finishes Midnight Sun and we all converge on theaters to see the whole thing start over again from Edward’s POV…it’s been quite a ride, dear reader(s). Thanks for sharing it with us.

Here’s hoping the surprise ending is the worthy final bow our friends in Forks deserve. See you on the other side.

The End.

New Moon Mix Tape!

Recently, Co-Creator A downloaded a slew of pop songs to her iPod. (She’s not ashamed to say these included the new CDs from Ashley Tisdale and Demi Lovato). However, it was while listening to Jordin Sparks’ latest offerings that she found what could be the perfect anthem for New Moon. The song? “Papercut”. The explanation? Unnecessary.

(To be clear, there were two lines in this song that had to be removed because they made no sense. We’re sure JS doesn’t mind—she’s obvs a New Moon fan!)

So, without further ado, we bring you…

Papercut

I’m okay, I’m okay
don’t keep asking me I might disintegrate
what do you want? I’ve moved on
Everything is going well, at least that’s what I tell myself 
I wish I was the tin man so I wouldn’t have a heart to break. 

I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half the time
All these tears, are just drops in the ocean baby
You barely even cross my mind no, no
and it doesn’t hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut,  paper cut… yeah

you don’t care
how it burns, how it stings 
just cause you can’t see it bleed
doesn’t mean it don’t go deep
I wish I was the tin man so I wouldn’t have a heart to break.
I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half the time
All these tears, all these drops in the ocean baby
You barely even cross my mind no, no
and it doesn’t hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut, paper cut
The more I give, the less I get
sometimes I wish that we never met 
cause I was fine ‘til you broke through
But don’t worry baby ill get over you…
By tomorrow or the next day, or they next day, or the next day

I’m okay, I’ll be fine.
I only think about you half the time
Yeah
I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half the time
All these tears, were just drops in the ocean baby
You never even cross my mind no, no
boy you wish it hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut, a paper cut
I’m okay, I’m okay

 

That's gonna leave a mark!

Sweet Things

In what could be the worst timing ever, Co-Creator A finally found the New Moon chocolate candies at her local Blockbuster…on the first day of her new diet. Committed to both fitness and the Twilight Saga, A purchased them, but has yet to try them (enjoying the bouquet, while resisting the wine, if you will). She has added them to her random Twilight stuff collection, right next to the Twilight Sweethearts and across from the Edward doll M knit her for her birthday. (Add in a couple dozen cats and A is sounding like a helluva catch right about now!).

Anyhoo, we wondered if anyone has bitten into one of these bad boys (or bad girl)? If so, what do you think? Are they worth eating, or just fun to look at? Or play with? (They make for great puppets! Look at the way Edward longingly stares at Bella!) Weigh in Twi-hards….should A break her diet and take a bite?

 

Twi-abetics might wanna wait for the sugar-free version.

The Twi-itter People (Part 1)

It’s no secret that I, Co-Creator A, am a little crazy when it comes to Twilight. Yes, I have a giant Twilight movie poster hanging in my office. Yes, I have read the books at least 5 times each. Yes, my ultimate goal this year is to attend the convention and meet Emmett. Whatevs. Last week, while researching ‘The Twi-itter Wars (of the South)’ I came across a group of Twi-hards way crazier than myself. 

It should be mentioned that when I say crazy, I don’t mean it in a bad way. Not entirely anyway. Like I said, I’m pretty fanatical when it comes to my Twi-abetes, so to call the kettle black would make this pot a bit of a hypocrite. However, these fans are taking their obsessions WAY beyond anything I’ve ever done.

Remember back to simpler times. A time with no MySpace, no Facebook, no texting. When AOL was the hottest way to surf your 28.8k net and chat rooms were full of interesting people pretending to be celebrities (I still swear that girl I talked to in 1997 REALLY was Sarah Jessica Parker!). People would pseudo-converse in a pseudo-public forum and when their conversation needed to get a little more detailed, take it to an IM. Those who wanted to have detailed conversations with more than one person would go to private chats named  for oh-so-important topics, like singlefolksinAZ or ILuvSBTBthenewclass. The really intense ones would role play in their chat rooms. Wizards, knights, magicians, they all had their own private chats where they could really get down to the nitty gritty and talk as though they knew how to cast spells, save maidens and pull rabbits out of their virtual hats. We would read and we would laugh. What kind of person gets so crazy about fictional things that they pretend to be those fictional things online?

Enter the new private chat room: Twi-itter Role Players or TRPs. Like I said, I never meant to find this rare breed of Twi-hard. I was looking for celeb Twi-itter accounts and found Alice’s first. I laughed at the intense and questionably delusional things she tweeted to Jasper. For instance: *giggling, leaning down to kiss your neck* Gotcha! (FYI: When people use * to signify action, we start to worry. This is classic old-school AOL chat room behavior!) Anyway, I thought this stuff was fantastic (Co-Creator M was way more creeped out than I was. Doesn’t speak highly of me.) and immediately decided to follow all of them. Bella, Edward, Esme, Carlisle, Jacob, Emmett, Rose…they all have accounts! Even Renesmee has one!! It never ends!

Literally. They never shut up. Never! They’re always talking to each other. Always *doing some sort of action* or sending each other song lyrics. It’s the most intense thing I’ve ever seen! These people must not have jobs…which makes me think they’re like 16. That would make sense anyway, since that’s how old I was the last time I *said I was doing some sort of action*. But as crazy as they are, I can’t stop following them! Which means that you, lucky ATWIM reader(s), get two days of Twi-itter role playing stories! So stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment, which is full of deceit, back-stabbing, adultery and, wait for it, Twitter sex.

New Moon Clip Makes Us Say Ehhhhhh….

Ok, ATWIM fan(s), we HAVE to know. Did you watch the first 15 seconds of the New Moon preview on ET last night??? Co-Creator A watched it alone (why on earth M would pick THIS weekend to move is beyond me!!) and was NOT impressed. Not be a Rosalie about things, but not not not not not impressed. So not impressed A may or may not have teared up a little from the disappointment. It sure as HECK better get better after second 15. COME ON GUYS!!!!!! MAKE THIS ISH HAPPEN!!! 

In case you missed it, here’s the YouTube clip. We shall now open the floor to comments.

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

During one of our frequent “just in case RPattz shows up” pub crawls (which have become more and more frequent—like every night frequent—now that New Moon has wrapped filming), Co-Creator A and I found ourselves mingling with the skinny jean-wearing crowd at a local dive bar, waiting for the band-of-the-night to come on stage.  With Co-Creator A wearing her usual KStew plaid and ’80s sunglasses and me looking like her Nikki Reed sidekick (I mean, you can never be too prepared when stalking Rob), I couldn’t help but notice that we weren’t the only ones in the crowd who resembled the Stephenie Meyer-imagined characters. (Though it’s safe to say we were the only ones doing it on purpose.)
 
My face went from confused Jasper to excited Alice when I noticed that beside me stood Laurent and across the room was Carlisle.  What were they doing there?! Especially when Canada is so far away! Their filming schedule certainly wouldn’t permit them the travel time.  But then it (breaking) dawned on me that the two were not who I’d thought they were, and I was quickly transported back to the real world. 

Since then, both Co-Creator A and I have continued to see our favorite Twilight characters around town.  Just the other day, Co-Creator A laid poolside next to Quil Ateara, and we both could have sworn that Charlie was buying wind chimes at a Saturday afternoon festival (and we thought he was only into sports and fishing!). 

Even though we know it’s all in our head, we will blissfully continue to pretend that we live in Forks, if only to find ourselves a Taylor Lautner look alike that’s a little closer to our own age.

That is, until we see the likeness of Renesmee.  That would totally freak us out.

 

 

Our version of Quil welcomes a break from the rainy LaPush weather.

New EMO-on

As most of you know by now, dear reader(s), the official poster for New Moon has been released to the public. I, Co-Creator A—despite going to bed at 3am—set my alarm for 6:45 so I would be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the 7am release. (I settled for groggy and semi-functional.) What I saw when I clicked on Twi-site after Twi-site baffled me.

Ok, maybe baffled isn’t the right word. Afterall, I knew what the formula would be: one part sad Bella, one part angsty Edward, one part wolfy and protective Jacob. The one thing I didn’t take into account: the emo factor.

I realize that Kstew’s and Rpattz’s (and consequently all other cast members’) wardrobe choices probably have set a precedent for the saga’s overall feeling. They all love their skinny jeans and plaid flannels (the latter of which at least makes sense geographically) and they spend a lot of time listening to (and making) the angsty music that was a constant source of inspiration to Stephenie Meyer. But that poster? Really, Summit? It’s like an ad for Hot Topic!

Not only does Edward look ridiculously pale and sickly—not to mention he’s wearing more makeup than Lady GaGa on a performance day—he’s standing like a kid who would certainly be picked last for kickball (a shame given his awesome baseball skills). Jacob, in addition to looking way too angry for Jacob in most of that book/film, has red eyes (aren’t those reserved for vamps??) and rather than rocking his easily-tethered-to-his-ankle sweat pants, is wearing something straight out of Seth Cohen’s wardrobe. Also, his arm looks oddly harry. A reference, we can assume, to his wolfiness, but an unnecessary and overly literal one.

In fact Bella—and you know it takes a lot for me to say this—looks remarkably pretty (well done, retouchers! BURN, Stewart!), and is the most normal of the bunch!

Showcasing the three stars in all their emo glory makes us wonder: Will Emmett rock guy-liner a la Pete Wentz? Will Rosalie channel her inner hipster and trade in her designer labels for Jenny Humphry-esque Urban Outfitters frocks? And will Jasper look exactly like he did in his recent Nylon Magazine shoot?

Maybe it was the early wake up call, maybe it was the fact that I had a little too much wine the night before, or maybe it was my ridiculously high expectations, but this emo-tastic nonsense just didn’t do it for me. In fact, it makes ME want to run off to Italy. (And not just so I can sneak into RPattz and Kellan’s shared hotel room. Co-Creator A sandwich! You’re welcome RPattz and KLutz..)

What did you guys think of the poster??

Abs-olute Team Jacob

Hi. My name is Co-Creator M and I’m on Team Jacob (TJ).  It all started on January 2nd, 2009 when I saw Twilight for the first time.

I never wanted to be on TJ.  In fact, after reading Twilight I had no allegiance to any specific character.  I was simply in love with being in love.  As it turned out Jacob only got in the way of the fast track romance between Bella and Edward.  The pages where Jacob was written in were page turners.  Like real page turners.  I flipped as fast as I could to get back to whatever electric love connection Stephenie Meyer had dreamt up.  Bella and Edward. Rosalie and Emmett. Jasper and Alice. Carlisle and Esme.

But then I saw Twilight.  My gateway drug to TJ.  Of course there was no denying the big screen allure of Edward (or Jasper!! Did you see those curly locks and those smile with your eyes expressions?!), but once Jacob appeared at prom in his Urban Outfitters-chic attire it was all over.  It was right then and there I realized that no vampire would ever be the one for me.

Now, reader(s), I’ll be the first to admit that I’m TJ for purely selfish reasons.  For one, he’s hot.  I realize those on Team Edward claim the same thing, that he’s hot, too, but have they realized that’s it for him?  Edward will forever look the same.  He can’t cut his hair and he certainly can’t surprise us all with ripped abs like Jacob.  And speaking of those amazing abs, we get to look forward to a shirtless Jacob in the movies to come.  Edward? Nope. He’ll be wearing a gray shirt and navy jacket until the end of time.

Then there’s that love thing.  The thing I first fell in love with.  Jacob gets to do all the fun love things.  While Edward can write one hell of a piano love ballad, as a human, I’d be pretty bored of the talking, tired from walking without holding hands, and pretty damn annoyed with his pained expressions when he looked at me.  Bring out the intense make out seshes, dazzling smile, and abs (have I mentioned the abs?) of Jacob Black.

For those of you with me in our exclusive TJ community, the ones who have been here since the beginning, I’m urging you to leave the TJ v Team Edward power struggle alone.  Let Team Edward be the more powerful team.  TJ is threatened by the release of New Moon and the makeover of our leading man. The groupies will rush the red carpets in support of Taylor Lautner.  We must never let his star rise as high as Rob Patterson’s.  Then our perfect world of sweet, protective, hot Jacob will be tarnished with Perez reports that he doesn’t shower, fan photos of him drunk at a bar at 3am, and the overwhelming fear that he could one day be dating KStew.  Sorry Team Edward, that’s your reality.

Happy Birthday, Rob!!!!

We at ATWIM would like to wish Rob Pattinson a very happy 23rd birthday! We know you love him just as much as we do, so we’ve created this handy and very celebratory birthday shot. Replace KStew’s missing face with your own and tell all your friends how much fun you had ushering in the big 2-3 with RPattz! Just remember to mention specifics from your evening to make your story more believable: Say that the two of you chain smoked the night away, while he awkwardly posed for photos with fans, all the while singing Van Morrison songs in your ear and swigging from his bottle of Heineken.

PM (Breaking) Dawn

So we at ATWIM are admittedly pretty good at indulging our inner (pre-) teen. We love a good gab sesh with friends, crushing on RPattz and practicing writing Mrs. Co-Creator A or M Cullen in our work planners. So it should be no surprise to you that we’re compiling a mix tape to honor all things Twilight. From Rosalie’s angsty tude to Bella and Edward’s love affair, we’ve found songs that fit them all and we’re bringing you the lyrics in a new department we’re calling Mix Tape.

First up, a song from before many Twilight fans were born. Co-Creator A has been saying for months that it’s THE perfect song for Edward and Bella in New Moon, so what better introduction to our mix tape than PM Dawn’s “Die Without You”? (Song available on iTunes. Mix tape available in our cars.)

Songwriters: Cordes Jr., Attrell, Steph

Is it my turn to wish you were lying here
I didn’t dream you
And I can’t sleep, babe

Is it my turn to fix you as my world
Or even imaginary emotions
Tell myself anything

Is it my turn to hold you by the hand
Tell you I love you and you not hear me
Is it my turn to totally understand
To watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing

[chorus]
If I could give away
The feelings that I feel
If I could sacrifice
Whatever baby, whatever baby
If I could take apart
All that I am
Is there anything i would not do
Since I’d
Die without you

Oh, I apologize for all the things I’ve done
Now I’m underwater and I’m drowning
Is it my turn to be the one to cry
Isn’t it amazing how somethings
Completely turn around

So take every little piece of my heart
Take every little piece of my sould
Take every little bitty piece of mind
Cuz if you do
Then I
Die without you