Archive for Robsten

Gone After November

Posted in Breaking Dawn with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2012 by awesometeenmag

Forgive us, dear reader(s), it’s been more than 2 years since our last post. HOLY CRAP THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT?!?! Wow. Yeeeesh, you guys. Yeeeeeeeeesh. Ok, now that that’s out of the way.

How perfect is it that as I sat down to write this post, Gone Till November by Wyclef came on. It seems so appropriate. Except it’s more like Gone After November. Sigh.

So, dear reader(s), I (I being A) am back to Twi-blog one last time before we lay our favorite film saga to rest. Sure, like an undead vamp, Twilight will live on via DVD, Blue-Ray, Kindels, iPads, Nooks…wow. Technology, am I right? Point being, today is the last time (presumably) that I can say “I’m going to see the new Twilight movie!” That sucks. It suuuuuuuuuucks. Remember when you read Breaking Dawn and you cried hysterically when you got to that last page. You know, the one with the words “The End” poignantly printed in bold, final black ink? That’s kind of how this feels. But symbolically.

It’s weird. After making Twilight my Twi-life for so long, it hasn’t hit me yet that this is the end. Granted, I haven’t been as active in the last couple years. (Obvs.) I got a full-time job writing and doing PR for a company which I won’t mention. But I will say that KStew is wearing our products in at least one of these pics. Possibly both.

Just because I haven’t been blogging doesn’t mean I haven’t been fan-girling. I still have all my posters lovingly hung around my apartment. (This could explain my single status.) I’ve adamantly defended the reconciliation of Robsten. (Don’t tell me he shouldn’t take her back or that it’s a publicity stunt. THEY ARE IN LOVE. DAMMIT. IN. LOVE.)

Anyhoozles, back to the point at hand. Today I will see Breaking Dawn Part 2. At 4pm. EST. Today will be my final “new Twilight movie”…until ABC Family inevitably makes a rom-com about Nessie and her new super-cute now-the-same-age-as-her-kinda-sorta-so-it’s-OK-by-Disney-standards boyfriend Jake (played by someone from the supporting cast of Camp Rock 7: The Jonas Brothers Aren’t in This One). Oh, and I think we all know in 5 years the CW will launch a new series called, like, “Forks”…the story of a town where something’s not quite right with that attractive Cullen family, the new girl in town is mysterious, clumsy and intriguing and it rains all the time. But they’ll throw in some new twist like Edward is also fresh out of juvie because he hit a homeless guy with his Volvo while hopped up on enough bath salts to think he’s invincible. But it wasn’t bath salts and he didn’t just think he’s invincible. He is. Because he’s a vampire. And that hobo was going to hurt an innocent elderly woman. Or something. Details are still being hammered out. But this might actually work…so it’s TM. Got that? TM. Legally binding. Dibbsies.

I have mixed feelings about today’s screening. First off, the second half of Breaking Dawn (excluding vampire sex) is like my least favorite thing. So many vampires. So many battle scenes. Weird stuff happens. And I’m not gonna lie, I still don’t quite understand a couple plot points (that hybrid kid from the Amazon…still foggy on the details of his age and maturation status). Plus, as I’ve mentioned THIS IS THE END, FOLKS. So while I’m excited for two hours with my favorite un-dead couple (spoiler?), I’m not looking forward to hours of what US Magazine called “jaw-droppingly violent” battle scenes and the forced farewell that will roll with credits. And this surprise ending that’s kept me off the Internet and Twitter since Thursday? I’m nervous, guys. Nervous. What are they gonna do?? Kill Bella? Kill Edward? Kill Jake?? Originally, I thought it would be some cute retrospective of scenes from the previous movies. Like Bella’s human memories flood back set to a Christina Perri song and we all cry and grin and hug strangers because we lived through all of this together. (I actually got goosebumps writing that…nerd alert.)

But now I think it’s going to be some kind of crazy plot twist that changes everything and makes me leave sad or angry or confused. More confused than I am about that Amazon kid’s age and maturation status. Seriously…anyone else have a hard time with that one?!?

The wondering is killing me, but the wait isn’t. To paraphrase the great Paula Cole, I WANNA wait. I don’t want this to be over. As weird as it may sound to non-Twi-hards, this is the end of an era.

So, until we meet again…or until Steph finishes Midnight Sun and we all converge on theaters to see the whole thing start over again from Edward’s POV…it’s been quite a ride, dear reader(s). Thanks for sharing it with us.

Here’s hoping the surprise ending is the worthy final bow our friends in Forks deserve. See you on the other side.

The End.

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Twi-Bored….

Posted in Rant with tags , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2010 by awesometeenmag

(SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t read Breaking Dawn yet, don’t read this post.)

Is anyone else feeling totally Twi-bored? Seriously. This lag time between New Moon and Eclipse is a killer. Sure, we have the DVD to look forward to (in March? Please?), but outside of that, all we have is a slew of rumors about the future of Breaking Dawn.

Here’s our deal on Breaking Dawn: Why does it have to be so darn tough? Firstly, make it into two movies. Come on. If you can end New Moon with the up-in-the-air (no Anna Kendrick pun intended) moment, let me paint you a picture of the final scene in Breaking Dawn I: Bella goes into labor, we use camera angles to avoid the necessity of some kind of creepy horror movie baby coming out of her body. (We know KStew is awesome at the screaming in agony thing, let’s play it up. Give the gal her time to shine!) This allows the producers time to include the honeymoon (see next paragraph), the pregnancy and Jacob’s side of the story all in one convenient 2 hour and 20 minute package. Easy peasy.

As for the honeymoon. We’re gonna go ahead and call in a favor from Summit right now. We figure they owe us for all the money we’ve put in their pockets. (Not to mention the great ideas!) Please make Breaking Dawn I and II rated-R. We know what you’re thinking: but what about the tweens? Know what we say? Screw the tweens! They’ll sneak in! That’s what they like to do anyway! We need some seriously hot and heavy pillow-biting scenes. Not to mention, the vampire sex scene in what will become Breaking Dawn II. Don’t you DARE take that from me. DON’T. YOU. DARE. Seriously, it needs to be full-on hot and heavy vampire sex. And if it’s not, I’ll throw my shoe. Seriously. I will. Maybe both.

The final scene of the film will be Edward injecting the venom into Bella’s lifeless body and looking exhausted and frightened. Maybe we close on the sound of a crying baby. (I’m pretty good at this, huh? I was a film major.)

We open Breaking Dawn II as Bella is waking up and seeing the world as a vampire for the first time. This also gives us additional time to work out the CG nightmare that is Nessie. How would I handle Nessie? Glad you asked.

In the beginning, we get cute babies/toddlers (think Olsens, but cuter) to play baby Nessie. All the child has to know how to do is put her hand on people’s faces. That’s way easier than what they do with those talking babies on the E*Trade commercials! Then, as Nessie gets older, hire a precocious 6- or 7-year-old to play her. It’s been done. Look at Dakota Fanning…how do you think she got her start? (Note to producers: do NOT cast Noah Cyrus. I will not allow a Cyrus to ruin the franchise.) No crazy CG necessary. Just a little bit of movie magic and camera trickery. And if you do need CG, hire the guys who did the E*Trade commercials. Or the Evian ads with the skating babies!

All of this back and forth with will they or won’t they be able to make the film, one movie, two movies, blah blah blah…it’s unnecessary. And it’s taking time away from what I really want to be doing: repeatedly playing the New Moon Drinking Game, analyzing any and all possible Robsten sightings (PS did you guys see THIS?? I can’t imagine it’s anything other than a real-life Robsten sighting! Look at her hair!!), and counting down the days ’till Eclipse.

Ok, Summit, there you have it. Problems solved. Get to work. I don’t want this kind of lag time between Eclipse and BDI (and seriously, how awesome does that look on a poster?). Oh, and BTW, you’re welcome.

Now She’s Just Messing With Us…

Posted in F.AN.GS (Fun and Games), Small Bites with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2009 by awesometeenmag

So you know the Bracelet-gate theory, Twi-hards: After their alleged rendezvous-es (most notably post Twi-Conn), KStew and RPattz like to swap this black bracelet. (If that’s what they’re really doing, we gotta say it’s kinda LAME!) Anyhoo, we have thought from the beginning they were doing it to mess with the press (and the devoted Robsten supporters), and now we think we were right all along. To make it even more frustrating for us playing along at home, KStew rocked about a thousand of the darn things last night at the Teen Choice Awards. Touche, Stewart. Touche.

 

Wonder where Rob was hiding his last night. Hehehe.

Wonder where Rob was hiding his last night. Hehehe.

More on our TCA thoughts later. It’s a busy day at the ATWIM offices! Working on some drinking game quotes…keep your fingers crossed!!

That’s Not OK!

Posted in Rant with tags , , , , , , , on July 25, 2009 by awesometeenmag

So we don’t usually post on Saturday, but something came to our attention that had to be written. While picking up her Rob-graced People Magazine last night on her way home from the bar (when all great purchases are made, natch), A spotted an issue of OK! Magazine with Robsten on the cover and the headline ROB AND KRISTEN REUNITE: STEAMY NIGHTS TOGETHER. Knowing the importance of investigative journalism and factual reporting, A added the mag to her pile and headed home. 

The gist of the story is this: Rob loved Kristen for a long time. Kristen loved Michael Angarano and thwarted his advances. Same story since time began, right? Ok, so here’s the part that PROVES that OK! Magazine is a big fat liar.

You see, Twi-hards, this issue came out BEFORE Comic-Con. The story goes on to claim that KStew has decided (upon seeing a photo of Emilie de Ravin’s hands ‘resting tenderly on Rob’s arm’) that she is in love with Rob and must get him back. (Even Dakota Fanning is insisting she reclaim what is rightfully hers. Did we mention Dakota Fanning’s like 15?! Yeah. Anyway.) Back to the point. OK! claims that Kristen was so intent upon recapturing Rob’s heart that (and we’re quoting here):

“She asked her Runaways stylist to find her a sexy sundress and a couple of great outfits to wear at the convention. She wants to look so amazing that Rob won’t be able to take his eyes off her.”

Wow. Just. Wow. Really? Does this look like an amazing, sexy outfit that the hottest man in the world wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of? Does it look like a sundress? Does it look like it’s ever been washed? Check your facts OK! And trust no one, readers.

 

If you're cracked out and you know it, tug your shirt!

If you're cracked out and you know it, tug your shirt!

PS We found this pic on SAWF News. If they want us to take it down, we will gladly oblige, but it was too funny not to post.