Gone After November

Posted in Breaking Dawn with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2012 by awesometeenmag

Forgive us, dear reader(s), it’s been more than 2 years since our last post. HOLY CRAP THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT?!?! Wow. Yeeeesh, you guys. Yeeeeeeeeesh. Ok, now that that’s out of the way.

How perfect is it that as I sat down to write this post, Gone Till November by Wyclef came on. It seems so appropriate. Except it’s more like Gone After November. Sigh.

So, dear reader(s), I (I being A) am back to Twi-blog one last time before we lay our favorite film saga to rest. Sure, like an undead vamp, Twilight will live on via DVD, Blue-Ray, Kindels, iPads, Nooks…wow. Technology, am I right? Point being, today is the last time (presumably) that I can say “I’m going to see the new Twilight movie!” That sucks. It suuuuuuuuuucks. Remember when you read Breaking Dawn and you cried hysterically when you got to that last page. You know, the one with the words “The End” poignantly printed in bold, final black ink? That’s kind of how this feels. But symbolically.

It’s weird. After making Twilight my Twi-life for so long, it hasn’t hit me yet that this is the end. Granted, I haven’t been as active in the last couple years. (Obvs.) I got a full-time job writing and doing PR for a company which I won’t mention. But I will say that KStew is wearing our products in at least one of these pics. Possibly both.

Just because I haven’t been blogging doesn’t mean I haven’t been fan-girling. I still have all my posters lovingly hung around my apartment. (This could explain my single status.) I’ve adamantly defended the reconciliation of Robsten. (Don’t tell me he shouldn’t take her back or that it’s a publicity stunt. THEY ARE IN LOVE. DAMMIT. IN. LOVE.)

Anyhoozles, back to the point at hand. Today I will see Breaking Dawn Part 2. At 4pm. EST. Today will be my final “new Twilight movie”…until ABC Family inevitably makes a rom-com about Nessie and her new super-cute now-the-same-age-as-her-kinda-sorta-so-it’s-OK-by-Disney-standards boyfriend Jake (played by someone from the supporting cast of Camp Rock 7: The Jonas Brothers Aren’t in This One). Oh, and I think we all know in 5 years the CW will launch a new series called, like, “Forks”…the story of a town where something’s not quite right with that attractive Cullen family, the new girl in town is mysterious, clumsy and intriguing and it rains all the time. But they’ll throw in some new twist like Edward is also fresh out of juvie because he hit a homeless guy with his Volvo while hopped up on enough bath salts to think he’s invincible. But it wasn’t bath salts and he didn’t just think he’s invincible. He is. Because he’s a vampire. And that hobo was going to hurt an innocent elderly woman. Or something. Details are still being hammered out. But this might actually work…so it’s TM. Got that? TM. Legally binding. Dibbsies.

I have mixed feelings about today’s screening. First off, the second half of Breaking Dawn (excluding vampire sex) is like my least favorite thing. So many vampires. So many battle scenes. Weird stuff happens. And I’m not gonna lie, I still don’t quite understand a couple plot points (that hybrid kid from the Amazon…still foggy on the details of his age and maturation status). Plus, as I’ve mentioned THIS IS THE END, FOLKS. So while I’m excited for two hours with my favorite un-dead couple (spoiler?), I’m not looking forward to hours of what US Magazine called “jaw-droppingly violent” battle scenes and the forced farewell that will roll with credits. And this surprise ending that’s kept me off the Internet and Twitter since Thursday? I’m nervous, guys. Nervous. What are they gonna do?? Kill Bella? Kill Edward? Kill Jake?? Originally, I thought it would be some cute retrospective of scenes from the previous movies. Like Bella’s human memories flood back set to a Christina Perri song and we all cry and grin and hug strangers because we lived through all of this together. (I actually got goosebumps writing that…nerd alert.)

But now I think it’s going to be some kind of crazy plot twist that changes everything and makes me leave sad or angry or confused. More confused than I am about that Amazon kid’s age and maturation status. Seriously…anyone else have a hard time with that one?!?

The wondering is killing me, but the wait isn’t. To paraphrase the great Paula Cole, I WANNA wait. I don’t want this to be over. As weird as it may sound to non-Twi-hards, this is the end of an era.

So, until we meet again…or until Steph finishes Midnight Sun and we all converge on theaters to see the whole thing start over again from Edward’s POV…it’s been quite a ride, dear reader(s). Thanks for sharing it with us.

Here’s hoping the surprise ending is the worthy final bow our friends in Forks deserve. See you on the other side.

The End.

Eclipse, Drinking Games and Hotel Romping w/ a Volturi…

Posted in Eclipse, Events... with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 28, 2010 by awesometeenmag

Ok, not really, but I got your attention, didn’t I? Read on to find out what the fuss is about…

Today is the day! Today is the day! All that stands between me and an advanced screening of Eclipse is 8 1/2 hours. Yeesh that seems like an eternity right now. I am SO freaking excited. Obviously I won’t be able to post my feelings on the movie until later in the week, but in the meantime, a few random Twi-notes.

1. Last night I stayed up way too late re-reading Eclipse. I was on page 173 when I started and while I didn’t finish—eventually I just started re-reading scenes I’m looking forward to—I made a serious dent, which means I’m running on nothing but adrenaline (and a some delicious Dunkin Donuts coffee) today. Despite my lack of sleep I seriously cannot keep from bouncing in my chair, which I am sure my co-workers find totally normal.

2. Speaking of my co-workiers finding things totally normal, I brought the Edward doll to work today. Why? I don’t know. But I just felt like if ever there was a day to have him by my side—and look like a total psycho weirdo to those around me—today was the day! Right now, he’s overseeing product development. That Edward!

What a sick, masochistic knitted doll....

3. Saturday night, some friends and I hit up TwiNight for the New Moon screening. (NOTE: I do not condone open containers, underage drinking, drinking in public places that are not bars, or loud talking during Twi-films.) (ANOTHER NOTE: my friends and I ARE of age.) Now that that’s out of the way, I gotta level with you people: we made some delicious alcoholic concoctions and brought them in water bottles and enjoyed a rousing rendition of the New Moon Drinking Game under the stars. I have to say: I’ve never played my own game before. The Twilight game, yes, but I was much less Twi-Drinking Game savvy at the time and had yet to get rules from P-Fatch, so that one’s MUCH tamer than New Moon, which has over 20 rules. And I will tell you: that drink every time someone is wearing plaid rule is a killer! People wear plaid in that movie like people wear plaid on set in Vancouver! It’s crazy! Halfway through, the plaid rule became the most hysterical thing ever and our obnoxious laughter probably ruined the experience for some of the folks around us. That said, the ear-piercing screaming (mostly for Tay, interestingly enough…settle down, there, soccer moms, he’s jailbait) probably drowned out our obnoxious laughter.

Bella and the bottle: The New Moon Drinking Game.

4. And speaking of TwiNight, I had a little tete-a-tete with a certain member of the Volturi in a hotel suite before the screening. We all know that I am OBVIOUSLY Team Edward/Team Rob, with a certain sexual loyalty to Team Emmett/Team Kellan (especially dark-haired, non-bowlcut Team Kellan), but I have joined a new team: Team Felix/Team Daniel Cudmore. Holy effing nearly 7 feet of hotness. I went in there knowing he’d be attractive, but SWEET JESUS, I was not expecting the level of attractive my wondering eyes fell upon. Yeeesh. I mean. Yeeeeeeesh. And he couldn’t have been nicer! I’ll let you guys know when the full story is running in the paper and link you, after that I’ll be able to post our whole convo for you. I am almost scared to listen to my tape recorder because I know I spent way too much time giggling like a school girl and getting lost in the visible plains of his sculpted chest under his t-shirt. Sigh. Wait, what was I saying? Ah yes, super nice! We joked around a lot and he was really cute about the Eclipse Drinking Game rule question. He took it very seriously (as most cast members do. Seriously, I interview these people about real stuff and they fire off answers but when it comes to drinking game rules, they take their time.) He even put his head down on the table for some serious rule contemplation. In the end, he came up with a short and simple rule that he claims will have everyone on the floor very early in the film. I’ll post it along with the rest of the game this weekend after I’ve done my proper research. (Read: when I have seen the movie several times in a very short period.) And while I don’t often (ever?) post pics of myself on this site (anonymity is key when Twi-blogging), I feel the need to post the sheer hotness that is Dan Cudmore. Especially since I’m pretty sure my legit job will not. PS when I asked if we could take a pic together, he was super nice about it and even offered to hold the camera MySpace style AND posed us in front of the Eclipse poster in the room. I made some comment about with him holding the camera up we were going to look like giants (the man is 6’8″!) and he said, “did you just call me a giant?” I was like, “no, I mean, I did, but I didn’t mean it like that.” Awwwwwkward. But he laughed and was super nice. He also retook the picture a couple times because he kept not liking it, LOL. In the end I promised not to tag him in it. You know, like we’re friends on Facebook. Cause we could be, you never know. Also, in true A fashion, I dropped the cap to my water bottle as I was leaving. Since I was wearing a completely appropriate super-short dress and my highest wedges (to lessen the distance between our faces, natch) bending over to pick up the cap was a total loser moment. There was some bizarre squatting involved. Then he reached out to shake my hand and thank me and I shook his and said, “I have a cap in my hand.” Smooth, A.

It's like a prom pic. But without the formalwear!

Ok, so I’ll report back tomorrow with no actual information on Eclipse, just a regular old post that might mention how freaking awesome it is. Because we already know that much anyway. Ahhhhh!!! So excited!!!

We Need a Solar Eclipse

Posted in Eclipse, Forks Online, Rant, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Twilight with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 23, 2010 by awesometeenmag

With Eclipse exactly one week away (say it with me now…..EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!) I thought it best to start posting again. ( And here I thought starting my new non-editorial job would make me a better blogger. Turns out copywriting is just as time-consuming as magazine writing.) Anyhoo, back to my point: ECLIPSE IS COMING!!!!! So how are you celebrating? Are you camped out in Hollywood hoping to catch a glimpse of the trilogy and maybe an early screening? Are you doodling your name + Edward’s name on your school or work notebook? Or maybe you’re doing what I’m doing…panicking that our opening weekend numbers aren’t going to be up to snuff.

Why would I worry such a thing, you ask? One word: summer. Every other Twi-film has opened during the colder months. I mean, let’s face it….the Twi-cast and the Twi-hards love a good hoodie. We love a lumberjack-style flannel. We can’t get enough of the controversial “Bella” jacket from BB Dakota. What happens when we’re forced to go against the angsty styles of winter and wear happy tank tops and flip flops to the theater?

It's too darn hot to keep this thing on!

Sure, sure, it gets cold in movie theaters. And with national temps at an uber-high, it would make sense that the fine folks at your local cinema would crank their ACs so much that the moments leading up to Bella’s leghitch aren’t all that’s giving you the chills. But donning your sassy summer sundress outside and covering up with a Hot Topic psuedo-goth hoodie inside is beyond a fashion don’t. And we know Alice would NOT approve of such a thing.

Not to mention, we love getting out of our cars in the packed parking lot and snuggling in our overclothes all the way to the concession line, knowing that we’re about to enter a world where only werewolves take their shirts off and that grey and drizzly is the best possible forecast. What happens when we leave the theater (and the worlds of Forks and La Push) expecting it to be cold and grey and it’s hot and sunny? How on EARTH are we expected to remain in the Twi-world when the real world feels more like a scene out of Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth than our beloved Eclipse?

Plus! What about those poor campers I spoke of earlier? It’s one thing to camp out in November or December. Fleece Cullen Crest blankets and a thermos of hot chocolate are almost as effective as a werewolf in a sleeping bag when a gal needs to warm up, but those poor overnighting Twi-hards are setting themselves up for serious dehydration and heat exhaustion! Why wait hours to see the film when you’re just going to be taken out of there on a stretcher because you only brought one Team Edward bottle of water? (Not to mention, being carried out of a Twi-que for any reason-however medical-just makes you look like a passed out super fan who couldn’t control her excitement and makes the rest of us look even crazier than we already do…though we know we’re not crazy. Just crazy for Twilight! Crap, that sounded crazy in itself, didn’t it?)

Fill 'em up, gang!

What do you think, Twi-hards? Will the heat of the summer overshadow the heat between Bella and Edward? Will the fact that it’s hotter than a werewolf’s body temp keep us from getting ourselves to the theater on opening weekend and instead, wait for the DVD release which will ultimately occur in the cooler, darker fall months? Post your thoughts (and remedies for beating the pre-Eclipse heat) in the comments!

And check back all week and next week as I continue to post. I promise. Seriously. I’m gonna. I have been too inspired by my buddies at Letters to Twilight and their miraculous Steph Meyer meeting not to!

Total Eclipse of the Start

Posted in Eclipse, Rant on May 6, 2010 by awesometeenmag

Ok, that title wasn’t my best work, but with only 54 days until the premiere of Eclipse (thank you, widget), the media blitz has begun. Between yesterday’s Oprah taping, today’s LA Times blog post and all the Internet buzz surrounding KStew’s Elle Magazine cover (which, BTW, I’m not reading or looking at until my copy comes in the mail, so no spoilers!!), this is the start of the final countdown to the movie! Woo! And then we only have to wait a year and a half for the next installment. Yay?

Ok, quick interruption of my own blog post: BOO!!! I was supposed to see 100 Monkeys with a friend of mine who is a hardcore fan (as in she hates Twilight but loves the band…yes, the band. And is friends with…wait for it…the band. Meaning I was THIS close to a drinking game rule from Jackson!). Anyhoo, the show got postponed because their van was going to blow up or something (sounds about right) and the ticket folk just called to tell me the show is officially cancelled. BOO!!! I was SO close to that drinking game rule!!!! Urrrrrg!!!! Anyway, what was I saying?

In the time since my last post, many things have happened. Rob appeared on Jimmy Fallon in a hysterical Robert is Bothered sketch, proving once and for all that while Jimmy’s impression sounds nothing like Rob, it’s way funnier (on purpose) than actual Rob.

That same night, I learned that I should never watch a Rob interview in front of my boyfriend. Not only does he think I’m insane for loving Twilight (sha!), evidently he thinks I’m a little too giddy over Rob. Allegedly, I watched the entire interview sitting as close to the TV as humanly possible (perched on the edge of the ottoman), wringing my hands and curling my toes and giggling incessantly. I honestly thought he was going to dump me then and there. Lesson to the ladies out there: unless he’s put a ring on it, don’t Twi-freak in front of your fella.

We also got some news on Breaking Dawn: it’s not coming out til November 2011. Really? REALLY?! Yes, I get that it takes a long time to make a movie and I get that if this book is being made into ONE film the CGI alone could take a year and a half. (Though, I still think it should be shot in two parts. See my previous post on how.) Oh well, at least this gives us ample time to prepare ourselves for the final installment(s). Yeah, that was a lame silver lining. There is NO silver lining for this one. Boo, boo, boo! By the time that movie comes out, I’ll be 31 and a half. WAY too old to care. (As opposed to being 30 when Eclipse comes out and salivating with anticipation every day between now and June 30…oooh, 30 on the 30th! Such a sign!!!)

Ok, so the actual point of this post: Eclipse. By now, we’ve all seen the trailer (I would hope). I’ve gotta say it, and don’t go throwing your stuffed wolves at me here, I was underwhelmed. I wanted the trailer to be scary. Like 28 Days Later scary. I needed it to be scary enough that I could show it to the BF and say, “look! It’s a horror movie! It’s legit!” But it wasn’t scary. And I already miss Rachelle. (No offense, Bryce.) But, there’s hope for the scary! The cast members (especially Kellan) keep insisting that this is a dark, edgy, scary movie with lots of fighting and lots of suspense. Stephanie Meyer knows, they’ve seen more of the movie than I have, so hopefully they’re right and the trailer was just cut to please Twi-hards rather than newbies (read: dudes). Kellan said in that LA Times article that guys would be bringing their girlfriends to this one, so let’s hope he’s right.

On a related note, do you think Kellan would like to bring ME to the film? Nothing against my own BF, but Kellan might be more willing to overlook my curled toes. And I’m pretty sure he could do things to me that would make them curl. Mind out of the gutter, Twi-hards, I was referring to his smile. Sheesh!

BTW Happy birthday to one of our most loyal, long-time readers, Suzi!! Hope you’re having a great day!!

Twi-Hardcore

Posted in Rant, Team Edward, Twilight with tags , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2010 by awesometeenmag

So get ready for some seriously shocking information, gang: A has been hanging out with a guy. Yeah. It’s like I have a social life or something!

Anyway, said guy—as is the case with most—doesn’t “get” Twilight. That’s fine. We don’t expect everyone to understand where we’re coming from. The guy is great, we have lots in common, but also lots not in common. (A combo that I think is good, for the record.) For instance, tonight he is taking me to a heavy metal concert. I’m currently listening to Taylor Swift. You see where I’m going with this.

Last night we were at a bar, where again he reiterated his confusion about my interest in all things Twi, claiming it’s for teenage girls (sha!) and that it didn’t make any sense for me to like it as much as I do. A few minutes later, this girl with tats and a black hoodie and skinny jeans (you know, very KStew) came up to talk to him. Evidently her fiance is the lead singer of a local metal band, so they chatted about stuff for a few minutes and I sat there feeling very prissy and out of place in my dress and boots, thinking that this girl must think I’m a total ahole or something. But then, she turned to face me and I saw it. On the bottom of her hoodie….a Twilight pin.

I almost squealed! But composed myself and said, “I like your pin.” To which she responded, “no, wait.” and unzipped her hoodie to reveal AN EDWARD T-SHIRT!!!!

Said guy was more than shocked. He was flumoxed. He was flabbergasted. The girl and I talked Twilight as he sat in disbelief. (PS her fiance’s name is Jacob and she’s Team Edward….oh the irony!) I told her that he was taking me to a metal show and that I fully intended to wear my Team Edward shirt to be sure I didn’t lose my identity. She said she was going to be at the show too and would wear hers as well.

She walked back to her table, leaving me and my completely disgusted date at our table. I was so giddy about the exchange I couldn’t stop giggling. Then she came back over and put a pin with Edward and Bella down on the table and said she wanted me to have it. I immediately put it on my dress and all was right with the world.

It just goes to show, you can’t judge a book by its cover. Unless that cover has a pair of hands holding an apple on it.

Twi-Bored….

Posted in Rant with tags , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2010 by awesometeenmag

(SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t read Breaking Dawn yet, don’t read this post.)

Is anyone else feeling totally Twi-bored? Seriously. This lag time between New Moon and Eclipse is a killer. Sure, we have the DVD to look forward to (in March? Please?), but outside of that, all we have is a slew of rumors about the future of Breaking Dawn.

Here’s our deal on Breaking Dawn: Why does it have to be so darn tough? Firstly, make it into two movies. Come on. If you can end New Moon with the up-in-the-air (no Anna Kendrick pun intended) moment, let me paint you a picture of the final scene in Breaking Dawn I: Bella goes into labor, we use camera angles to avoid the necessity of some kind of creepy horror movie baby coming out of her body. (We know KStew is awesome at the screaming in agony thing, let’s play it up. Give the gal her time to shine!) This allows the producers time to include the honeymoon (see next paragraph), the pregnancy and Jacob’s side of the story all in one convenient 2 hour and 20 minute package. Easy peasy.

As for the honeymoon. We’re gonna go ahead and call in a favor from Summit right now. We figure they owe us for all the money we’ve put in their pockets. (Not to mention the great ideas!) Please make Breaking Dawn I and II rated-R. We know what you’re thinking: but what about the tweens? Know what we say? Screw the tweens! They’ll sneak in! That’s what they like to do anyway! We need some seriously hot and heavy pillow-biting scenes. Not to mention, the vampire sex scene in what will become Breaking Dawn II. Don’t you DARE take that from me. DON’T. YOU. DARE. Seriously, it needs to be full-on hot and heavy vampire sex. And if it’s not, I’ll throw my shoe. Seriously. I will. Maybe both.

The final scene of the film will be Edward injecting the venom into Bella’s lifeless body and looking exhausted and frightened. Maybe we close on the sound of a crying baby. (I’m pretty good at this, huh? I was a film major.)

We open Breaking Dawn II as Bella is waking up and seeing the world as a vampire for the first time. This also gives us additional time to work out the CG nightmare that is Nessie. How would I handle Nessie? Glad you asked.

In the beginning, we get cute babies/toddlers (think Olsens, but cuter) to play baby Nessie. All the child has to know how to do is put her hand on people’s faces. That’s way easier than what they do with those talking babies on the E*Trade commercials! Then, as Nessie gets older, hire a precocious 6- or 7-year-old to play her. It’s been done. Look at Dakota Fanning…how do you think she got her start? (Note to producers: do NOT cast Noah Cyrus. I will not allow a Cyrus to ruin the franchise.) No crazy CG necessary. Just a little bit of movie magic and camera trickery. And if you do need CG, hire the guys who did the E*Trade commercials. Or the Evian ads with the skating babies!

All of this back and forth with will they or won’t they be able to make the film, one movie, two movies, blah blah blah…it’s unnecessary. And it’s taking time away from what I really want to be doing: repeatedly playing the New Moon Drinking Game, analyzing any and all possible Robsten sightings (PS did you guys see THIS?? I can’t imagine it’s anything other than a real-life Robsten sighting! Look at her hair!!), and counting down the days ’till Eclipse.

Ok, Summit, there you have it. Problems solved. Get to work. I don’t want this kind of lag time between Eclipse and BDI (and seriously, how awesome does that look on a poster?). Oh, and BTW, you’re welcome.

The New Moon Drinking Game

Posted in F.AN.GS (Fun and Games) with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2009 by awesometeenmag

*WARNING: THIS GAME CONTAINS NEW MOON SPOILERS. STOP READING NOW IF YOU’VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK THE LAST THREE WEEKS AND HAVE YET TO SEE THE FILM*

We’ve been blog mum on New Moon for two reasons: 1. we want you guys to make your own decisions and not be swayed by how we at ATWIM feel (it’s the best freaking movie ever!!!…oops, I’ve said to much), and 2. we’ve been so busy seeing it over and over again that there really hasn’t been time to write. (Did I mention how freaking awesome it is?? Seriously. SERIOUSLY! Per-fection.)

However, it has come time to post what we like to tell ourselves is the most anticipated New Moon-related item to hit the net since the debut of that weird girlie Jacob doll: ladies and gentlemen, may we present you…THE NEW MOON DRINKING GAME.

Now, due to the popularity of The Twilight Drinking Game, this one is a little different. Word got out about us and our mad drinking game-making skills, so a few cast members contacted us to help with rules of their own. (Rob and Kristen called, but K just kind of stammered through some long-winded rule and Rob spent the whole phone chat being self-depricating so we had to drop their submissions.) Fortunately, our friends Peter Facinelli, Edi Gathegi and Jamie Campbell Bower were there to lend a hand…and help each and every one of you get good and sloshed. 

First, our rules. I, Co-Creator A, went to see New Moon (for the third time) by myself with notebook in hand to come up with these rules, for you, our loving readers. I’m pretty sure the few other people in the theater at 2PM on a Wednesday thought I was crazy. And I am. CRAZY FOR THE NEW MOON DRINKING GAME!

*NOTE: We cannot be held responsible for anyone who gets in trouble playing or attempting to play the New Moon drinking game. Also, if you’re going to get wasted at the movie theater, be sure to bring a designated driver. We recommend someone responsible like Angela Webber. A Mike Newton type is a little too much of a gamble.*

That said, here’s how the game is played. Add your favorite alcoholic beverage to your reasonably priced (ahem) movie theater soda and keep your cup close at hand. (Once the film is on DVD, the game gets a lot more convenient.) Whenever one of the following things happens, you MUST drink. Note: some variations are designed for hardcore drinking game players only. Feel free to make your own variations to avoid puking like a “marshmallow.”

DRINKING RULES:

1. This is a pre-film rule: drink for every preview of a film about letters that stars Amanda Seyfried. Seriously. You’ll be drunk before the opening credits. (Though there really aren’t opening credits, are there?)

2. Drink whenever someone takes a picture. Bella, Alice, Angela, etc.

3. Ok, now this one could mean you get dragged out of the theater on a stretcher, but give it a shot (no pun intended): drink everytime there’s plaid on screen. This is for every separate piece of plaid. For instance, in the cafeteria, Mike is wearing plaid, but so are a few of the extras in the background. Drink for each. (If you really want to get crazy, drink for the plaid curtains in Bella’s house.)

4. Drink when Edward gets out of the Volvo at school and walks towards Bella looking like something out of a wet dream. (Seriously, no matter how many times I see the movie, I gasp audibly when I see him.)

5. Drink every time Emmett says something so goofy it’s hot. Which is every time he speaks.

6. Drink every time a line from Twilight is repeated. For instance, when Alice says, “it’s time” or when Bella tells Charlie to be careful and he says, ” always am.”

7. Drink every time a line that’s so random, dated or dumb that it rivals “spider monkey” is uttered. ie: When Jake calls Bella “loca” or when Bella asks Emmett not to “hate the truck.” Or when Jess says “homeboy could have been a psycho.” Or when Jake says “age is just a number, baby.” You get the idea.

8. Drink when you get dizzy from the spinning in the scene where Bella’s lying on the forest floor. (Cause you know you do. I actually have to look away. Alcohol should help that.)

9. Drink when you see Sam come to save Bella in wolf form…because he looks like an animatronic Snuffleupagus. Moments later, drink again when Sam, Harry Clearwater and Jake exchange a silent look that rivals those on an episode of The Hills. 

10. Drink for Jessica’s amazing zombie rant. We heart Anna Kendrick. 

11. In the scene where Bella falls off the motorcycle drink two times: once when Jake does his fancy maneuver to get off his own bike and then when he shamelessly removes his shirt. You knew we were gonna say that one, didn’t you?

12. Drink when Mike Newton says “gotta get that pwotein in thew” in his baby talk voice. 

13. Drink for the Burger King product placement in the movie theater scene. 

14. (This is a good one!) Drink every time Bella cock teases Jake and they almost kiss. Such a tease, Bells!

15. Drink whenever the wolf pack makes their weird greeting noise. “Oooohheeeeee!”

16. Drink every time someone other than Bella drives her truck.

17. Drink whenever someone speaks a language that’s not English, but no translation is offered. (ie: Jacob or the Volturi.)

18. Drink during the amazingly funny, awkward and creepy elevator scene in Italy. Genius!

19. Whether you love it or hate it, drink for Alice’s Breaking Dawn premonition. (We love it!)

20. Drink for every Cullen that votes yes. 

Ok, now that you’re good and tipsy, it’s time for the celeb rules. We’ll start with Peter Facinelli (who also kindly offered us a Twilight Drinking Game rule—complete with Rob anticdote). Peter said: “For New Moon, every time you see Carlisle in a scarf, you can drink. That would be basically every scene I’m in.” (Editor’s note: we’re counting the dickie he wears when he’s with the Volturi.) 

Next, Jamie Campbell Bower, who, BTW, thought the game was a fantastic idea. We’re also pretty sure he’d play with us any day of the week. And drink us under the table. His rule was: “Every time Dakota Fanning does something incredibly frightening, which is just about every scene she is in.”

And finally, Edi Gathegi, who took this game very seriously. He even changed his rule five minutes after giving us his initial idea. Here’s how the conversation went down: “If the rule was for my character, you’d be sober the whole time, so how about every time Taylor is shirtless in a frame. Not in a scene, in a frame. So if they cut to Taylor, then cut to Kristen, then cut back to Taylor, drink both times [he’s on screen].” A few minutes later after hearing Jamie’s idea, Edi changed his mind:

Edi: Mine promotes alcoholism, I want to change it. How about every time someone is shirtless? Not in frames, just in scenes. Every time you see pecs.

Jamie: Nipple?

Edi: No, just pecs. Man cleave. And that’s for everyone. Not just Taylor. 

So, ATWIM readers, you heard the man. Drink every time you see man cleavage. And that includes Laurent’s under his blazer. We think Edi would want it that way.