Howl at the (New) Moon

Just like you, dear Twlight fans, we often find ourselves defending the intense awesomeness that is the Twilight Saga to our male friends. No matter how much we champion the bone-crushing fights (Bella DID get her leg broken), fast cars and reckless driving, alluring, beautiful female vamps, and of course, the baseball-related undertones, they can’t seem to get past the chick-flickiness of the movie. (Or maybe it’s our constant male comparisons to one Mr. Robert Pattison. We’re not quite sure.)  In any case, we here at ATWIM are constantly searching for new ways to increase male viewership. Not only because we would hate to deny them of the movie’s awesomeness, but—and most importantly—to secure ourselves dates for multiple viewings of New Moon (because let’s be honest, ladies…it will get expensive paying to see it in theaters 16 times).

41GlByFzNgL__SS500_Ever on the boy-enticing prowl (wolf pun intended),  we cyber-stumbled upon this amazing Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt from Amazon.com. Sure, sure, it looks like your average Napoleon Dynamite-inspired thrift store tee (you know, the sort of thing those emo kids on the New Moon poster might wear ironically), but just like Jacob’s wolf pack, it has a much higher purpose. After reading the 200+ customer reviews, it’s apparent that this seemingly mundane shirt captures the essence and allure of our favorite wolf pack in ways even we true fans cannot fathom. Take shirt wearer (and soon to be Twilight fan) Bee Dot Govern, for instance: “I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling alongside out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.”

Just like Jacob once (briefly) had Bella’s heart, Bee Dot Govern got his own heavy-breathing, slightly unkempt (BURN, KStew!!) leading lady. And just like Jacob saved Bella many times, the power of the wolf shirt helped David Luzader save a choking man’s life. Finally! Now guys will see that we love the Quileute wolf pack for more than just being shirtless and hot (though we def love them for those reasons too. Mmm, wolf pack.).

So ladies, add a little wolf to your wardrobe, because thanks to the magic of this shirt—for a mere $9.14—you’ll have your guy pledging his alliance to Team Jacob and imprinting on you in no time! And if all goes according to plan, by November he’ll be so enthralled with all that is Twilight that he might even plan on dressing like Edward for your big New Moon date night.

Editors’ Note: If you’re not Team Jacob, check out our Team Switzerland Awesome Teen Shirts.

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